Category Archives: home life

the day after

Belated Merry Christmas 🙂

I had a nice xmas eve with my bff’s family. And a nice long relaxed xmas day. I got the girls back at 3, we snuggled and watched Polar Express and then ate chicken nuggets and fries for dinner. hah. We will celebrate our Christmas on New Year’s Day with my brother, sil and their baby. 

Christmas is always such a weird time of the year for me. I’m still trying to figure out what traditions I want to do with my girls. I realize I didn’t even wish my bro and his family a Merry Christmas. I suck lol. At least they get it too. Next Wednesday should be a lot of fun, we are going to order in food and not cook anything and have fun with the kids.




i’m on vacation. yes, it’s a staycation (hate that word really) but i’ve got a lot to do around here so it’ll be good. 

hopefully in the fall, i can take a real vacation that involves leaving my hometown or state. hah. 

first project is the clear the sunroom of cat litter. i gave teh cat back to G. i just don’t want to take care of anything eles except myself and the girls. so bye poot. she was lonely here anyway, i work too much and with the girls gone sat-tues, she was just so lonely. at least at G’s she can torture his dog. 

there’s going to be much purging of things. i want to lose half the shit i have around here. i don’t need all this crap. it just takes up space. i still have boxes from when we moved here labelled “a box of shit” that is so ridiculous! and i have ikea craptastic furniture that i don’t need anymore. so that’ll get set out in the alley and hopefully someone will take it and put it to good use.


three updates in a row!

I still wanna run away from everything, start over in some new town but because it’s not just me, I’m forcing myself to be still. it’s so fucking hard. but i’m doing it. also, I’m happy to report, my hair is still in long form. and a natural looking color although, my roots could use some help 😉

I am getting tattooed like a crazy fool. but that’s okay. better than running away. and running for excercise seems to help.

Also, I have some amazing friends that keep me  grounded and talk me off the ledge.

and the being alone thing, well, i do still struggle with that at times. but i don’t think i’m being destructive so i’m just going with it, if I need to hang out with friends on my home alone nights, then so be it.

I need someone tall to change a lightbulb for me 😉

I’ve been immersing myself in music. not much tv watching. a total reversal. and I’m loving it.

summer is here. and then will be gone.

did i mention that i love to run? hah!

i love my friends

i love my kids

i love myself 🙂 i wrote up a “Harmony’s roadmap to a better life” thing today. I scold myself, encourage probably sounds like i’ve gone crazy (or crazier) but it felt great to write out a plan. i will have an amazing life. and it will be because i made it happen. it won’t happen tomorrow and that’s okay. it will happen. in a two years. I’ll probably be legally blind by then so that’s when things will have to be well underway.

no update in a while

nothing much to report, if you follow me on facebook, you’ll know things are going well, as well as they can be considering. I’m trying to get in some good quality time with my girls on my days off since I don’t see them for three days. they are always so happy to see me when I pick them up on Tuesday evening, it kinda breaks my heart. i’ve been extra emotional lately too. not sure what’s up with that. and goddamn,whiskey just makes me so weepy hahah so I’ve been sticking to beer when I want to have a drink or two.

little updatey goodness

I’m still running and working out a few times a week. yay me

I’ve got my guitar out and am practicing chords. really would like to learn how to properly play. I’ve had lessons in college, was attempting to learn when I found out I was pregnant with Lu and have never picked up the guitar again. so I’ll try now. we’ll see if I can do it.

work is going well. I’m on a mini vacation which is awesome.

the split up seems to be going well. the girls are adjusting to having two houses, they seem totally fine with everything.

busy day off

I’m set for a busy day off today. cleaning and organizing and rearranging the house. Running to Ikea for new beds for the girls for daddy’s house, dropping said beds off at G’s. Target for some essentials for myself. Comcast to drop off the cable boxes. whew. also, laundry. good thing I’m on coffee number 2 for the day. here comes carae, waking up finally! so I’m off to it.

it’s getting real

And G is moving out this weekend. I predict a long, somewhat drawn out process. There is not a box in sight. oh well. I’ll take my time sorting and purging and rearranging. We are trying to be so fair in this process. who gets what, how much do we each owe for the shared debt. I’ll pay you for our bed since it’s a pain to move it out of this place. you pay the car  insurance, I’ll pay for the (ex)family phone plan. how often do we each have the girls. do we change the bus pick up (not this year.) and on and on. more of the same to come, I’m sure.

I’ve been on the last few days dreaming of my dream house. but of course, my dream house doesn’t really involve ikea furniture but does involve a lot of money so that’s why i’m perusing i went today and bought a few things, under $70 worth of stuff. a new light for the living room, a rug now that knuckles won’t be here all the time to pee on it. some other swedish made in china crap. I had both girls, that was a a fun adventure. they did surprisingly well considering it was very crowded which can throw Lu into a mood and the middle of the afternoon when CaRae should be napping. I looked like the crazy mom only three times. so yes, I’ll call it a success.

getting my financial house in order

So it’s been a fun few weeks around here. separating out a joint bank account, credit card debt and loans is a giant PITA. but I think I’m there. one giant loan to cover all the joint debt so any new debt isn’t confused for old joint debt. two checking accounts, one for us each. a refinanced car loan for me with a lower payment, cancelled the cable tv. lowered monthly payments all around. things financially should be set. unless something disastrous happens. but that’s always been a factor.

New glasses


The start of the reinvention of me. Happens at the end of every relationship. I’m struggling to keep myself from shaving my head, quitting my job and running far from here.

So instead, I’ve started running for exercise, throwing myself into my work and will have a professional cut my hair.

But the urge to flee, to remove myself from my surroundings is so strong, just simmering under the surface.

And like that, life took a left turn

Yup, change happens so damn fast sometimes .

G is moving out. We’ll raise the girls together but with separate homes. It will be okay. We’ll all be okay. He gets the dog, I’ll take the cat. He gets the Honda, I’ll take the Mazda. We get to be happy. Hopefully. That’s what we both want. Or at least not to live with this underlying anger (at least on my side) and building resentment.

I will be fine. And so will he. And so will the girls.