Quick recap, I ran a half marathon in Duluth, hung out with an old friend and some new friends. I went to a work party in Chicago and made the most of my 24 hours in that beautiful city.
My kids are great, my work is great. I feel great.
Summer is delicious.
Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and figuring (imagine that!) I’ve got a business plan forming, I’ve got an exit strategy, I’m on the move. It feels great and little scary but mostly great. it’s a two year plan but could be moved forward at any time. a few things need to fall into place but i’m confident it will all come together. sorry i am being vague, if you want details, ask me. or wait in anticipation 😉
I still wanna run away from everything, start over in some new town but because it’s not just me, I’m forcing myself to be still. it’s so fucking hard. but i’m doing it. also, I’m happy to report, my hair is still in long form. and a natural looking color although, my roots could use some help 😉
I am getting tattooed like a crazy fool. but that’s okay. better than running away. and running for excercise seems to help.
Also, I have some amazing friends that keep me grounded and talk me off the ledge.
and the being alone thing, well, i do still struggle with that at times. but i don’t think i’m being destructive so i’m just going with it, if I need to hang out with friends on my home alone nights, then so be it.
I need someone tall to change a lightbulb for me 😉
I’ve been immersing myself in music. not much tv watching. a total reversal. and I’m loving it.
summer is here. and then will be gone.
did i mention that i love to run? hah!
i love my friends
i love my kids
i love myself 🙂 i wrote up a “Harmony’s roadmap to a better life” thing today. I scold myself, encourage myself..it probably sounds like i’ve gone crazy (or crazier) but it felt great to write out a plan. i will have an amazing life. and it will be because i made it happen. it won’t happen tomorrow and that’s okay. it will happen. in a two years. I’ll probably be legally blind by then so that’s when things will have to be well underway.
I’m still running and working out a few times a week. yay me
I’ve got my guitar out and am practicing chords. really would like to learn how to properly play. I’ve had lessons in college, was attempting to learn when I found out I was pregnant with Lu and have never picked up the guitar again. so I’ll try now. we’ll see if I can do it.
work is going well. I’m on a mini vacation which is awesome.
the split up seems to be going well. the girls are adjusting to having two houses, they seem totally fine with everything.
The start of the reinvention of me. Happens at the end of every relationship. I’m struggling to keep myself from shaving my head, quitting my job and running far from here.
So instead, I’ve started running for exercise, throwing myself into my work and will have a professional cut my hair.
But the urge to flee, to remove myself from my surroundings is so strong, just simmering under the surface.
I can’t wait until my week vacation. Two weeks to go. I can make it. The holidays have just about destroyed my body. Still need a massage, maybe over vacation. I thought the wine order last year was going to kill me but the produce order I think will be the one that does me in.
well, lots of my co-workers are going through some shit. One guy’s best friend committed suicide last week, another woman’s teenage son lost two fingers in an accident yesterday, a woman’s cat is dying, half of the crew is sick and the other half is working hurt. yup, it’s fun times at work. at least we are still laughing and joking and in general having a good time but it’s there, this pervasive gloom under all the laughs.
managing a crew of 75 is like parenting a very large group of children. it’s emotionally tiring.