Monthly Archives: December 2013

new year

Here we are, at the end of a year again. My mom was so right when she would tell me that time moves so much faster the older you get. 2013 was definitely a year of change, self-discovery and growth. My partner of ten years moved out, we made the transition from one house for our kids to two houses and split time with each parent. We tried to make this transition as smooth as possible for our kids with a minimal amount of stress and they seem to have weathered the change well but I guess we’ll see in the years to come. After quitting smoking in December 2012, I started running at the Metrodome in January and by October, I ran my first half marathon. That’s 13.1 miles people. I’m damn proud of myself. Running has taught me so much about myself, but the most important thing I’ve learned from running is that I can do anything I set my mind to. Yes, yes, most of us grow up hearing this idea and being told it by parents, teachers, and mentors but it’s so amazing when you, yourself, actually figure that shit out! I also connected and reconnected with a handful of wonderful ladies who just make my world a much better place. I traveled and had adventures, got tattooed three times, saw some great live music (PRINCE!), ate a lot of great food, camped, drank, had good conversation and few bad conversations. Opened myself up to my emotions, cried a lot, laughed a lot and loved a lot.

To cap this amazing year off, tomorrow is a Major Life Change. I’ll write all about it tomorrow but just know, there is one more amazing (and maybe a bit terrifying) thing that will happen in 2013.

~~~

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions as I feel they tend to not really last so instead, I focus on goals. Some of my goals carry on from year to year until I can complete them, like Getting Out Of Debt, it feels like that one will last forever. But, I am making progress on that goal, my credit is great and my debt is very manageable. I will keep working on managing my debt, paying it down, moving forward and being more responsible with my money. I will, of course, keep running with the intention of running the Twin Cities Marathon in October. Baring any injuries, this will happen!

What I really really want to get a handle on is parenting my kids better. I had such a bad mommy moment yesterday during bath time, I wanted to cry after I apologized to my kids for losing it. ugh. It was horrible and frustrating and just not good. My poor kids deserve better than a screaming mommy monster when I’m feeling stressed. I take it out on them forgetting that they are just little kids with little kid brains and hearts and how scary it is when an adult and especially their mom, is yelling at them. So I guess I can call this goal the Stop Yelling At My Kids goal. (Unless they are in danger, then I’ll yell like crazy.) I feel like in this is something very important for me to get a handle on since it will effect the girls for the rest of their lives, how they parent, how they talk to themselves, how they interact with each other. No one deserves to be yelled at, yet we do it to kids all the time. They don’t deserve it either. They don’t deserve to be made to feel horrible or less than.

I want to live this year full of love and compassion. Here’s the a great 2014! *cheers*

Advertisements

the day after

Belated Merry Christmas 🙂

I had a nice xmas eve with my bff’s family. And a nice long relaxed xmas day. I got the girls back at 3, we snuggled and watched Polar Express and then ate chicken nuggets and fries for dinner. hah. We will celebrate our Christmas on New Year’s Day with my brother, sil and their baby. 

Christmas is always such a weird time of the year for me. I’m still trying to figure out what traditions I want to do with my girls. I realize I didn’t even wish my bro and his family a Merry Christmas. I suck lol. At least they get it too. Next Wednesday should be a lot of fun, we are going to order in food and not cook anything and have fun with the kids.

 


The idea of love

So I still get teary eyed and all tender hearted when it comes to weddings, even fictional ones. Sigh. I do still love the idea of love and of happily ever after. I’m not so cynical as to believe it doesn’t happen and I’ll never close my heart to it. But, I am very, very aware of the reality.


so that’s that

Well, yesterday, G and I had our hearing and we got our divorce. It’s not final until it’s all processed but the judge signed the order and it’s in the works. We high fived at the conclusion. hah. I’m glad we’ve been able to maintain a cordial, if not friendly, relationship through all of this and that the girls know they are well loved by their parents and will never feel they are in the middle of a push/pull war with mom and dad. Here’s to new beginnings for the both of us! cheers!


no motivation

I’m seriously lacking in motivation this winter season. I can’t really run outside, especially with this subzero weather we’ve been having sooo that leaves the treadmill which is hard for me to run longer than thirty minutes. I’ve been focusing on strength training which means lots of lunges, squats and planks. But that’s a bit boring too but at least I can bust out a quick workout in 20 minutes or so. I really want to set up my race schedule for the spring/summer/fall 2014 but I need to wait for some funds to become available. I’m thinking January, I’ll be able to sign up for the big races, a 7k in March, a half in June (either in Duluth or Mpls), 26.2 in Oct and I’m sure I’ll sign up for more 5ks, 10ks and 10 milers as the year goes on. I want 2014 to be a nice and full season of races. I just love races.