new year

Here we are, at the end of a year again. My mom was so right when she would tell me that time moves so much faster the older you get. 2013 was definitely a year of change, self-discovery and growth. My partner of ten years moved out, we made the transition from one house for our kids to two houses and split time with each parent. We tried to make this transition as smooth as possible for our kids with a minimal amount of stress and they seem to have weathered the change well but I guess we’ll see in the years to come. After quitting smoking in December 2012, I started running at the Metrodome in January and by October, I ran my first half marathon. That’s 13.1 miles people. I’m damn proud of myself. Running has taught me so much about myself, but the most important thing I’ve learned from running is that I can do anything I set my mind to. Yes, yes, most of us grow up hearing this idea and being told it by parents, teachers, and mentors but it’s so amazing when you, yourself, actually figure that shit out! I also connected and reconnected with a handful of wonderful ladies who just make my world a much better place. I traveled and had adventures, got tattooed three times, saw some great live music (PRINCE!), ate a lot of great food, camped, drank, had good conversation and few bad conversations. Opened myself up to my emotions, cried a lot, laughed a lot and loved a lot.

To cap this amazing year off, tomorrow is a Major Life Change. I’ll write all about it tomorrow but just know, there is one more amazing (and maybe a bit terrifying) thing that will happen in 2013.

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I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions as I feel they tend to not really last so instead, I focus on goals. Some of my goals carry on from year to year until I can complete them, like Getting Out Of Debt, it feels like that one will last forever. But, I am making progress on that goal, my credit is great and my debt is very manageable. I will keep working on managing my debt, paying it down, moving forward and being more responsible with my money. I will, of course, keep running with the intention of running the Twin Cities Marathon in October. Baring any injuries, this will happen!

What I really really want to get a handle on is parenting my kids better. I had such a bad mommy moment yesterday during bath time, I wanted to cry after I apologized to my kids for losing it. ugh. It was horrible and frustrating and just not good. My poor kids deserve better than a screaming mommy monster when I’m feeling stressed. I take it out on them forgetting that they are just little kids with little kid brains and hearts and how scary it is when an adult and especially their mom, is yelling at them. So I guess I can call this goal the Stop Yelling At My Kids goal. (Unless they are in danger, then I’ll yell like crazy.) I feel like in this is something very important for me to get a handle on since it will effect the girls for the rest of their lives, how they parent, how they talk to themselves, how they interact with each other. No one deserves to be yelled at, yet we do it to kids all the time. They don’t deserve it either. They don’t deserve to be made to feel horrible or less than.

I want to live this year full of love and compassion. Here’s the a great 2014! *cheers*