A not fun new behavior in my Lu

So Thursday and Friday night, Lu started to exhibit some fairly aggressive behavior with Friday night being the worst of it. I know I did not handle things great and probably helped to escalate the situation and it scared the shit out of me. I called her dad in a panic and my mom, freaking out, crying, trying to stay calm but failing miserably. It was not fun. at all. Lu was pushing me hard, she could have pushed me down if I wasn’t paying attention and bracing for her pushes, she threw stuff at my head and slammed a door in my face. UGH. I do not want my normally sweet child to behave this way. So, I did some reading on autism and aggressive behavior and realized I need to have a calm plan of attack for when this behavior emerges again. I’m pretty sure she is just wanting attention and I know she likes to see me react angrily, she laughs while I get more and more angry. It’s so maddening.

So, my mantra from now on will be, calm and cool, calm and cool, calm and cool. If she isn’t getting the reaction she wants from me, she will hopefully move on to something less aggressive and scary. Wish me luck. I will also call her doctor to see if she has any advice or if she thinks we need to see a behaviorist.  And I’ll be emailing her teacher tomorrow to let her know about this new behavior and if she has any advice or can work with her while at school.


8 responses to “A not fun new behavior in my Lu

  • Nici

    Hang in there my sweet friend. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things to get this figured out and dealt with in the best possible way for both Lulu AND you (and Cadence too of course). I would only hope that I had the same presence of mind in your shoes if I were in your shoes. Thank you also, for posting about your life, and your journey as a Mom, with me and others. It really helps to feel connected to other women living this adventure too. 😉 =) ❤

  • chelseypayne

    It sounds like you’re doing an awesome job!! You are a great mom!

  • chelseypayne

    I also think we should all use that mantra always. We can only control our actions and reactions, but not those of others.

  • jan

    Breathe deep… remember, you are a GOOD Mom! Patience is an interesting thing, when you need it most it is sometimes hard to find!

  • giftprolific

    hang in there Harmony. That sounds incredibly challenging. You are super string and amazing….some people wouldn’t deal with that half as well as you are.

  • Kate McC

    You are such a great mom. We learn as we go along, and you are doing such an amazing job figuring out how to support Lu. Sending good thoughts your way…

  • Katie

    Hi Harmony, this may not work…every kid is different…. but Isaac displayed very aggressive behavior for a while too. Pushing me, throwing things at me, screaming, etc. I was completely at a loss. What helped me was to have a plan in my head in advance so I wasn’t reacting i n the moment. I planned out first , second, third and fourth consequences that I carried out very calmly and matter of factly. Sit on the stairs, go to your room, lose a favorite toy, lose all electronics for the night, etc. I think it did help when he realized he wasn’t going to get a reaction out of me. This was all after the initial incident, which involved me yelling, crying and envisioning lots of therapy sessions for my son’s anger issues. 🙂

  • monybalony

    Thank you all for your replies, it means so much to hear from you xo.

    Katie, I am definitely going to have a plan from now on. The sit on stairs and go to your room do not work on Lu but I will find other steps with consequences that she will care about, like taking away her Angry Birds, her iPad etc. Thank you for your words and it’s so comforting to know I am not the first parent that completely lost it and over reacted lol.

    Jan, that dang patience 😉

    again, everyone, I am so blesses to have so many wonderful friends in my life. Love you xo

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